Monday, January 25, 2010

On love and acceptance

What is it in us that makes us desire love and acceptance from others, when we already have it in abundance, even beyond all we could ever want or need, in Jesus? Mother Teresa calls the greatest poverty that of "being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for." That is a devastating poverty, an existence in which you are told you are undeserving of love. We are made in the image of God, and as such, we are deeply loved as His children. We are considered precious by the Creator of the universe, the One Who knows every star by name, Who shaped Mount Everest and filled the seas with vivid colors and shells. He formed rolling hills and staggering redwoods and is the Originator of everything that is Good and Beautiful; He is the source of all love and compassion. And even knowing this, many of us still seek the approval of men. Men who are as the grass, here one day and gone the next.

The head and the heart really are two separate beasts.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

"Give Me Your Eyes"

"Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity

Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see"

~Brandon Heath

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Tía

Today, my friend Kaytie and I went to IHNFA (an orphanage) to volunteer. We're hoping to go once or twice per week (depending on the week) to spend time with the kids there.

We showed up just in time for the babies' dinnertime, so we helped feed and love on them before they went to bed. There were maybe 8-10 little guys between the ages of 2 months to a couple of years, all being looked after by two women. My thoughts were on the futures of these babies: what would happen to the ones who don't get adopted? Are these future street kids, with their enormous black eyes and big innocent smiles?

After they went down for the night, Kaytie and I wandered around looking for the older kids. We found a group of kids hanging out, most of which were pretty small and younger-looking. They were between the ages of 7 and 11, but the 7 year-olds looked more like 5 and the 11 year-olds could pass for 16. All the kids were friendly with us, but we saw a lot of violent aggression come out in their "playing" with each other. One tiny girl (Faviola) kicked another girl in her spine (hard), and a couple got into pulling each others' hair.

I feel like a lot of the violence comes from the "fight for survival" mentality, the only one they've ever known. The most vocal 11 year-old girl told Kaytie they have their own gangs they've established inside the orphanage, and they fight and hate each other in the ways they've learned on the streets. They curse (in English and Spanish) and a few like to provoke a girl with mental special needs (Cindy) to physical aggression. The 7 year-old mute girl (Caty) also showed some anger/aggression, and another tiny one with a huge grin put her hands around our necks and choked us between hugging us goodbye. Already these kids have starting calling us "Tía" (Aunt).

These kids have some huge needs that really only Jesus can fill. We're confident that the Lord will be at work in their lives through His Holy Spirit, and we're excited to see what that is going to look like. Please be praying for them.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

:o)

Today:
  • There was a GORGEOUS sunrise behind tattered clouds.
  • One of my students gave me a BEAUTIFUL red rose.
  • All my students did all their homework.
It's a good day.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

10 Jan. 1987

I think it's best if I update my blog now because it's my birthday and I can't be (further) reprimanded for my tardiness.

Christmas Break was an absolute blessing in every way. It was so refreshing to be with my family, and my cousin and his husband came out from New York for New Years, too. I so appreciated my time and conversations with them. I'm trying to talk Chris and Craig into visiting me in Honduras. (Then Craig can help me decorate on a budget!!)

While I was home, I was further blessed by all my friends who were home or came to visit. I got to spend time with friends from middle school, high school, and college.

One of my closest friends and her young family drove up from Santa Barbara and we spent a few days enjoying each others' company.





On my last night home, a couple good friends and I went linedancing. As if that wasn't enough...we also rode a mechanical bull. Yeah, that's right. And I'd do it again.

This weekend some friends and I celebrated my birthday. Last night, my friend Kaitlyn organized a group dinner and movie, which was really sweet of her. After the most terrifying taxi ride of my life (brake lights in front of us incited this guy to go faster), I realized I had locked myself out of my apartment, so I spent the night at a friend's house. That was probably the best conclusion to the evening I could have had, because we just thought out loud together about faith and heaven and humanity and aliens (we saw Avatar, ok?).

This morning (on my real birthday) some friends and I had breakfast together, went to church, and spent the afternoon lesson planning. I really enjoy my friends and am so thankful for them. Life may be hard, but it is also definitely good.